AG, DIS SOMMER…SNOLLIES

Winter: loop-neusie-seisoen.

Daardie verdomde klewerige mukoïede substanse wat gestalte kry agter in jou baba se petite lugweë…dis regtig sleg.
En dit suig nóg meer as jou klein mensie as gevolg van díé goed nie kan asem kry nie!

Dit klink dalk simpel, maar ek sal jou sê, dit was vir my een van die mees angswekkende ervarings toe my jongste (toe 1 maand oud) erg benoud na sy asem gesnak het – babatjies haal hoofsaaklik deur hul neusies asem – en dít nog in die hospitaal en op suurstof!! Dis mal hoe vinnig so iets kan gebeur….

My boetiebaba was vir die tweede keer in ‘n week se tyd by die hospitaal opgeneem. Eerste keer, virale meningitis (sien op Facebookblad: ‘Meningitis – As jou brein pyn’). Dié keer met bot-toe longetjies, ribbekassie wat intrek en magie wat paradoksaal uitpop soos hy probeer asemhaal. Diagnose: RSV (sien ‘RSV – Really Stupid Virus’).

Later, veilig in die kindersaal, kan ek mos nou semi-ontspan. Vasgeplak teen sy klein wangbeentjies loop die nasale kanules wat suurstof volstoom in sy neusie blaas. Hy kry gereeld neusdruppeltjies om al die hardnekkige slyme los te maak en op te droog. Selfs die fisio kom beklop hom 2 keer per dag. Als was okay. Beter…En toe word dit nag. Letterlik.

Ek weet nou nog nie presies wat gebeur het nie, maar êrens deur die loop van die nag (en kyk, nagtelike ure in ‘n hospitaal kan laaaaank voel!) het hy begin benoud word. Nie van sy borsie nie, maar van sy toe neus! Druppels word klokslag ingegooi, suurstof hardloop op ‘full blast’ en skielik sit ek met ‘n kermende mensie wat hyg-hyg en gor-gor snak na sy asem!

Dank Vader die pediater het vroeg rondte kom doen en hom haastig by my geneem toe sy sien hoe hy sukkel en stoei.

Nou ja, slyme is uitgesuig (die goed gaan lê glo soos ‘n oester agter in die nasofariks), nóg neusdruppeltjies…en my klein mensie skep weer genoeg lug om hom te verlustig aan moedersmelk…

Vrede,
Alyssa ♡

NS. As dit by jou eie kinders kom, raak die skerpste dokter maar lekker dom. Skies, ek veralgemeen nou erg. Maar ons is net nie objektief genoeg nie. Daar’s net té veel emosies betrokke. Daarom is ek maar eerder oorversigtig en kry maklik ‘n tweede opinie. My kinders het ‘n wonderlike pediater…

Foto:
My vriendin het hierdie oulike apparaat aangekoop – die BabyVac. Dit werk soos ‘n bom. Konnekteer hom aan die stofsuier en ‘whaa-laa’.
(Kry hom by Dis-Chem Pharmacies)

Oppas net vir té veel gebruik – dit kan die delikate slymvliese irriteer om nóg meer slym te produseer en swelling te veroorsaak. Sien die vervaardigers se aanwysings.

GASSKRYWER

Sy is ‘n ontwerper [brand & web design] en eienaar van Make Me Visual.
Sy is ook een van ons eie mammas!
Lekker lees & gaan ‘like’ gerus haar facebookblad, Someone’s Superwoman.

//  I  S U R R E N D E R  //
Deur Maryke van Wyk

Having a baby has probably been the biggest life challenge I’ve had to face (and I’m only 4 months in). It has been a constant struggle between self and self-sacrifice. I am used to my to-do lists, coffee, goals, time-blocking and running around until everything is done. Social media often suggests that we can “do it all” and “have it all”, the only thing standing in your way is yourself and that “hard work” and being “goal driven” will get you everywhere. This sets us on a path of always chasing the ultimate “Instagram” lifestyle and makes it extremely difficult to find joy in exactly where you are.

This has been my struggle. I had the picture of having my beautiful baby whilst working my badass mom butt off while she sleeps. Once she wakes up I’d sweep her up and play all kinds of stimulating games until she gently falls back to sleep so that mamma can put in the hours to make some money.

Only, that’s not how most babies work. When baby sleeps, I try to catch up with washing, eat something and the moment I sit down to work – she wakes up. It has been a constant challenge to get work done which has created immense stress every day. I’m tired, not so much because of a lack of sleep, but because I’m constantly behind in pretty much everything. I’m running, trying to catch up on a lifestyle that I had before that I just find impossible to maintain. I’m angry and frustrated because my baby doesn’t want to fit into my routine. I panic and find myself spiralling into a dark hole because how will I ever catch up? How will I ever maintain my “have it all” lifestyle?

And so one-day last week everything just went up in flames. Baby was crying. I was crying. I was stuck. I was being a terrible mom, waiting every moment for baby to sleep and at the same time, I was not getting any work done. I was failing at everything. And in that painful moment, I decided to give up. I decided to drop all the balls. I picked up my baby, I held her close and comforted her until whatever was wrong was better. I let her fall asleep on my chest and enjoyed her closeness while she slept. She woke up and I put her down in the sun, talking to her and playing her games and once she was tired I picked her up and helped her to gently fall asleep. We had the best afternoon in a long time.

I suddenly realised that I no longer was the person I was before, it was no longer just me. I have lost a part of me, but I have gained another and I needed to embrace the new part of me. I was now a mom.

There will come a time when the individual me will become more prominent again – maybe when she is 2 and going to a playgroup, maybe when she is 6 and going to primary school or maybe at 18 when she spreads her wings. But that time is not now. It is time now for sacrifice and for surrender – to enjoy baby legs kicking, spit on all my clothes, one-sided conversations and baby milestones. And I have found the biggest JOY in total surrender to love.

Only now can I look back and see how focused on the “self” my thoughts were. We are bombarded with the idea that you shouldn’t lose your identity in your baby. I know that was definitely one of my biggest fears – losing my time because someone else is dependant on me. But my identity right now is all about my baby and I’m tired of having to apologise for that. I am the best me for my family when I can whole-heartedly surrender to being a mom.

Yes, there are challenges that I need to find solutions for – I will need to find a better way of working and I will need to find new ways of looking after myself, but I’m not saying sorry for being a mom. I find so much joy in following my baby’s cues which means I don’t have to stress about sleep training, spoiling baby or right/wrong. I can focus on prioritising what she needs to flourish into a confident and one day, an independent young woman.

I was questioning myself on whether being a mom and sacrificing my independence is wrong and suddenly realised that the epitome of love, Jesus Christ, sacrificed himself so that we can be confident children of God, never doubting in His love. So that answers my question way better than any Facebook group or Google search could ever do. I am surrendering to motherhood and have found so much joy in doing so.

Are all my problems solved? No. Can I stop working and just bask in baby every moment of the day? No. But when everything becomes too much and the balls are starting to drop, I know which balls to drop. My biggest priority will not become my biggest burden. I will gladly face people’s persecution saying that I am doing things wrong for the joy of being a present mother. I can suddenly breathe again, deep breaths in the sweet joy of surrender, of not “doing it all” and “having it all”. I am failing spectacularly at a few things but goodness, I am achieving new heights in others. I would rather succeed in a few things than being average in many things.

This is not a struggle, it’s a victory. This is the best and hardest thing to happen to me and I would choose it over and over again. Because we can never really grow if we are not challenged and this challenge is bringing to light new parts of my identity that I never could have imagined. I am definitely still a work in progress and some days are hard – so hard. But when the storm passes and I look back I see the GRACE that carries me and I think of Paul who wrote to the Philippians saying, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Every mom’s surrender looks different, so never compare where you are to someone else, but I hope and pray that I can remind someone to find joy in where they are right now. It does require sacrifice and sacrifice is painful, but it creates the space for new joy to flourish.

– Someone’s SuperWoman –
‘because there is always someone looking up to you’

📸 LIV Maternity and Newborn Photography

OP DIE KLOK

Vir dié wat hierdie nog nie gelees het nie.
Óf wat dit net weer moet hoor… soos ek. Want ons is steeds op die 2-uurlikse klok…

☆     ☆     ☆     ☆     ☆     ☆

Wie is tans saam met my wakker? As jy ‘n mamma is (of selfs ‘soon to be’, want kom ons wees eerlik: daai klein lyfie bons behoorlik op jou blaas hier teen die einde!) is die kanse goed jy is eeeeeen of ander tyd deur die nag op.

Of dit nou borsvoeding of bottelvoeding is, piepies en sopnat-bednatmaak-want-die-doek het-gelek, die “gewone” nommer2’s en doekruil of die buitengewone projektiele oepsies en waterkaskenades (ons het een keer die fout gemaak om toe te laat dat ouboet ‘waaaaay’ te veel olywe eet…en die GEVOLGE daarvan gedraaaa! Ek meen komaaaaan, watter 2-jarige hou so baie van olywe??), of dit tandekry of koors of wakker-hoes of snotneusies is (daar’s min dinge so sleg soos ‘n baba met ‘n toeneus…Sien “Ag dis sommer…snollies”), of selfs ‘night terrors’ (dis glo vreesaanjaend!! Jou klein mensie skree en huil en is eintlik nog vas aan die slaap)…
Middernagtelike wakkerwees-sessies kén ons mammas van…

Vanaand is ek weer ‘on the clock’ – my boetiebaba drink elke 2 ure. Gulsige knapie dié… Ek’t vanaand gelukkig die kans gekry om vroeg in die bed te kruip, so kon darem ‘n voornag-slapie inkry! Maar weë o weë, môre voel dit maar weer of ek in die ’twilight zone’ rondsweef, al hoog-trappende met ‘n wollerigheid in my kop…

Inelkgeval, mede-mamma, ‘this too shall pass’. Vasbyt en wees sterk en maak maar daai 2de koppie oggendkoffie (in my geval is dit meer soos “eet maar daai blokkie fudge, al is dit nou eers 8uur die oggend”)!

Jou opofferrings en min slaap word raakgesien.
En ons gaan anderkant uitkom en dit gaan okay wees.

Vrede,
Alyssa

VADERSDAG 2019

Gelukkige Vadersdag aan al die Pappas en Oupas!

Ek het hierdie GEDIG ‘n hele paar jaar gelede vir my aardse Pa geskryf. En vandag is ek so dankbaar vir die rots en steunpilaar wat hy vir my was en steeds is. Vandag is hy ‘n wonderlike Oupa vir ons twee kabouters en ek wéét hy gaan in hulle lewens ook ‘n belangrike rol speel.

Vandag kan ek ook met ‘n ongelooflike dankbare hart sê dat my wederhelfte die beste man en Pappa vir ons twee seuns is: ‘n man wat God se wil vir sy en ons lewens soek, wat my kom leer het wat onvoorwaardelike liefde is, wat sterkstaan wanneer ek soos jellie voel en wat ‘n absolute ‘hands-on’ en betrokke Pappa is.

Liefde & Vrede
Alyssa

Sterke man van God,
geanker, rotsvas
diepgegronde fondasie
draer van geluk en las


Son: verteer, skroei
Sy arms uitgestrek – skadu, koel
tyd staan stil. Rus.
bedaar, ervaar, vóél


Vlerke omvou, omring
ek, kind só weerloos
bondel sagte dons, beskerm
troos en liefkoos


Groot hart. Dapper man.
Veg teen mens en ‘onrein dier’
“Vrede, moenie vrees,
want Ek is hier.”

– Alyssa Loftus

WELKOM BY MY 》BLOG《

Frankly My Dear Photography

“Mede-mamma, jy IS genoeg. “

— Alyssa Loftus.

Kom lees, deel, lag & huil (net soms) saam met my soos ons die lewe & ma-wees aanpak & geniet!

Kliek op VOLG om die nuutste stories in jou inboks te ontvang.

MEER OOR MY

Dokter van beroep, vrou vir my wederhelfte en mamma van twee besige seuntjies. My familie is my anker en my geloof, my kompas.

Deur te skryf, probeer ek sin maak van die lewe. Ek is ‘n ewige optimis, vind inspirasie in die alledaagse dinge en bewonder alles wat mooi is – die natuurskoon, die diversiteit van mense, die kunste en musiek.

My stories, gedagtes en gedigte is soos ek: eerlik, kinderlik, dikwels komies, baie kleurvol en deursigtig (‘what you see is what you get’).

Kom saam met my op hierdie skryf-avontuur soos ek die mallemeule van die lewe uit die oog van ‘n dokter-vrou-mamma neerpen.

Daar gaan baie gelag word! Maar soms is daar ook hartseer, wipplank-emosies en donker wolke.

Onthou net:

Elke donker wolk het ‘n silwer randjie.

Mede-mammas en Oumas, ek hoop dat my eenvoudige stories jou weer opnuut kan inspireer en laat besef hoe waardevol jy is. Wie jy is, IS genoeg.

Vrede,

Alyssa Loftus ♡